by CHRIS MILLSPAUGH
ARIES: (March 21-April 20) -- To ensure that your standards aren't too high, don't have any standards at all this week.
TAURUS: (April 21-May 21) -- Are you a person that collects things or just a hoarder with an agenda?
GEMINI: (May 22-June 21) -- Once you dislike everybody, you'll never be lonely again.
CANCER: (June 22-July 23) -- It's a heavy burden to hate everything. Talk to your taxi driver.
LEO: (July 24-Aug. 23) -- Honesty is the best policy after Photoshop.
VIRGO: (Aug. 24- Sept. 23) -- The "Ketchum krud" has given you the most incredible husky voice, which means you can now charge $19.99 a minute to anyone who calls.
LIBRA: (Sept. 24-Oct. 23) -- You'll be very relieved when people give you the silent treatment this week
SCORPIO: (Oct. 24-Nov. 23) -- Your boss will ask to see pictures of your children this week and you will have him arrested.
SAGITTARIUS: (Nov. 24 - Dec. 21) -- Your grandchild will tell you that she and her best friend own the color pink. It's not true. She is so full of it.
CAPRICORN: (Dec. 22-Jan. 20) -- Don't be afraid to dream this week. Reality isn't going anywhere.
AQUARIUS: (Jan. 21-Feb. 19) -- I liked hoarding much better when it was the theme for "Sanford and Son."
PISCES: (Feb. 20 - Mar. 20) - You will high five a wall with your face this week. Remain calm.
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The Idaho Mountain Express is distributed free to residents and guests throughout the Sun Valley, Idaho resort area community. Subscribers to the Idaho Mountain Express will read these stories and others in this week's issue.