Friday, March 8, 2013

March madness


By CHRIS MILLSPAUGH

Which latest news event parallels your life the closest? Is it a cross-dressing ex-NBA rebounding all-star who made friends with a North Korean dictator? How about the “sequester,” which no one understands? Could it be tons of snow everywhere else except at the ski resorts of the Northwest? There are many news items to ponder, but I believe the “sinkhole” pretty much sums up my particular existence.

When one hears that a man lay down for a nap in his bedroom and suddenly evaporated from the face of the earth into a sinkhole, one has to trust that just about anything can happen at any time in your life.

For instance, my favorite perennial losing baseball team, the Seattle Mariners, currently have won 10 games and lost only one in spring training (Major League Baseball’s pre-season games.) I know what you’re saying—it’s not the real season yet and these games don’t really count. They have also hit 24 home runs in 11 games by 16 players. Go figure. You never know. Well, we’ll see where they are in mid-June, won’t we? After all, they finished last in the American League West Division last year and are predicted to be near the same finish this year. Still, I can’t help but get a little excited. In a year of personal struggle, here is one bright star shining through my constellation of reverie.

As for Dennis Rodman and the 28-year-old North Korean despot basketball fan, it all makes perfect sense to me. Sports bring all people who are stark-raving mad together. The “sequester” keeps all stark-raving politicians apart. The unequal division of snow in the Unites States proves, once again the adage, “Build it and they won’t come.” (I’ll take the “sinkhole” as my personal mantra for 800, Alex.) It doesn’t get any lower for a sinkhole, but once you get by that, there is hope.

Have a wonderful day and … nice talking to you. 

 




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