Friday, November 16, 2012

Running out of shoes


By CHRIS MILLSPAUGH

Ever since the elections ended on Nov. 6, love-struck military commanders have dominated the daily news. Every day, like a soap opera, another sordid installment is revealed to the world. We wake each day waiting for another shoe to drop. But like any other faded mini-series, we’re running out of shoes.

Why did this happen? Is email the culprit? Do all these high-speed correspondence entities like Twitter and Facebook give us too much information too fast? Shouldn’t we be talking about other things ,such as jobs, the economy, housing and climate change?

No, we’re mired in a scandal involving high-ranking generals and over-achieving females. We should call this new soap “The Nights of the Generals.” The English version would be, “Carry On, Generals.”

This “General Turmoil” has been devoured by the mass media and promoted on every TV channel, mass-market radio stations, magazines and newspapers. Today, the dropping shoe revealed General Hall, who reportedly sent 20 emails to Jill Kelly of Tampa, Fla., a self-promoting “hostess” of the military command.

“Betray-us’” lover Paula Broadwell, intellectual biographer and physical fitness freak, took umbrage with Ms. Kelly’s alleged overzealous approaches to many top generals and blasted her with threatening emails, telling her, in short, to back off! Ms. Kelly reportedly called the FBI and told them to get Broadwell off her hind side.

The FBI held a secret investigation for the past six months keeping everyone, including the Oval Office, out of the loop, in yet another dropping-of-the-shoe day.

An earnest FBI agent, apparently smitten by Ms. Kelly’s charms, thought it would appropriate to send her a topless picture of himself. When taken off the case, he reportedly complained to a friend who felt he had to contact a Republican member of Congress (Eric Cantor) on Oct. 31, becoming the first in Washington to hear of the goings-on. The president accepted Gen. Petraeus’ resignation the day after the election.

By the time you read this column, three days will have passed and I can only wonder what else will be revealed. I bet Donald Trump is behind all of this. After all, he’s the one who started “Sandy” to teach New York and New Jersey who’s the boss. We’re running out of shoes!

Nice talking to you.




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