Friday, August 24, 2012

Still here


By CHRIS MILLSPAUGH

    Hey, you’re only as old as you feel. Boy, do I feel old. Another birthday looms ahead this Sunday and except for a sciatic nerve problem and an occasional heart attack, I’m in perfect health. My doctor reports that I have the stamina of a 71-year-old man. How did I do it? Clean living, that’s how. (He’s an older man but very clean.) I’m still in the room. Stop talking in parentheses.
    And, I’m a pretty affable, positive guy compared to, let’s say, those city of Sun Valley politicos. Those folks revel in upsetting the apple cart, creating confusion and handling secrets. You see, you’re supposed to keep the secrets, not leak them. Their oft-delayed audit will be revealed today and bare clandestine communiqués that everyone knew about anyway. That is, unless it’s postponed, once again.
    The latest news out of the city is that they’ve decided to cut funding to the Marketing Alliance, which they originally initiated. It seems the top expense in the new budget will be for legal fees for out-of-town law firms (Shop local!).
    But enough about that planet—what about my needs? At age 71, I find myself only five years younger than Sun Valley and struggling to attract a youthful market as well. I, too, have a colorful history with semidiminished skills. I possess great knowledge of the valley, yet am unable to convince folks in large metropolitan areas to come and visit me. What happened to tradition, I ask you?  Even my children rarely visit anymore. Am I not worth it? Am I a predestination father?
    All right, enough ranting. I’m still here and, if you’re reading this, you’re still here as well. Maybe we should all audit our lives—see what was amiss. Then, we can report to ourselves and promise to eliminate those strategies that didn’t seem to work very well. Then we can all start over again. Do we want to do it all over again? How’s your back?
    Nice talking to you.


    Mr. Millspaugh still lives in a log cabin.




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