Idaho Mountain Express: Give turkeys a day off

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Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Give turkeys a day off

From: Tom Turkey

What is the big deal about picking on turkeys every year? Who did we upset so much, to put us in this "hot" predicament year after year? I have a few ideas on this subject I would like you to consider before you make your shopping list for Turkey Day (see, you even have me believing that Turkey Day and Thanksgiving are synonyms!).

To start things off, who can really trust history? I mean, did Columbus really "sail the ocean blue" to discover America? What if our fabled historians just had a bad case of Alzheimer's? Makes you start to think, doesn't it? Maybe that big feast with the pilgrims and Indians had a big, fat chicken on the table. We do sort of look alike don't we?

Speaking of chickens, they have their own viewpoint on this touchy subject, and of course it doesn't agree with ours. But why would it, their lives could be one "chop" away from a roasting pan like ours. Those chickens make a good defense for themselves. "We're eaten every day of the year, not just one, so get over it!" is a common viewpoint shared by most chickens. And of course, most of those chickens, especially the skinny ones (and their strange cousins, the Cornish hens) usually say "who could make a hearty meal out of one of us?" So yeah, I can see their point of view, but there are other birds out there to choose from, aren't there?

That brings me to my final bit of support for a "turkey day off." Also, maybe a good alternative choice for you to consider. Of course, we can't suggest the good ole, all-American bald eagle. Heaven forbid! But what about one of those new, high-tech, pre-fabricated "tofu turkeys?" It surely is more healthy for you than one of us is, especially when all of our healthy dark meat is left on the platter. And finally, for all of you slaves to the kitchen out there, who wants to spend their whole day in the kitchen, anyway? Just pop one of those tofu turkeys in the microwave and zap it for 20 minutes!

I hope I have made my argument clear, in defense of a day off for turkeys on Thanksgiving. You wouldn't believe what it would do for morale, out here in the woods, come the first of November. It can be a pretty depressing sight, seeing a lot of young, vibrant turkeys with a bunch of premature gray hair and lots of nervous twitches. So please, take my advice when you go to pick out your main course this year for Thanksgiving. Give us turkeys a day off, and take your folks down the frozen food aisle. We will be forever thankful, trust me.

P.S. Don't try to stuff one of those tofu turkeys—have the dressing on the side.

From Bill Cantrell's fifth-grade class

Bellevue Elementary

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backpacker

11/27/09 - 06:48

I too am concerned about the true meaning of Thanksgiving being pushed aside, but at the same time, we have to eat SOMETHING, so what in the world is wrong with eating a turkey?? If those who argue against eating a turkey are true vegatarians, then OK -- make that known and the rest of us will say "you have your right to be one" -- but on the other hand, the rest of us have the right to eat meat, including turkeys. That right is perfectly established by the history of mankind as a means of survival, and for those that it makes any difference, even the Scriptures give us that right from the Almighty. (now if you're an atheist don't get yourself worked up because it was only meant for those who may appreciate it) Should people not know the truth, meat has sustained life throughout history at times when nothing else was available.

What I don't like are the hypocrites, like the guy I once saw in WalMart when I was purchasing bullets for hunting. He said, "I don't believe in hunting." Knowing the guy, I responded, "When was the last time you ate a hamburger?" The guy dropped his head and said, "Well you got me on that one." Duh!!

By the way, I too don't like some of the tecniques used to raise turkeys and other animals for commercial purposes. That's another matter worth addressing, but in the meantime, let's be thankful for the turkeys and other food we have. Hope everyone has a good Thanksgiving season. Man -- that roast turkey is good!

animal_voices

11/27/09 - 00:52

To Bill Cantrell's fifth-grade class: "And a child shall lead them." Thank you for your compassionate hearts. You obviously have very caring role models.

Slowly but surely, Thanksgiving Day is being renamed "Turkey Day." Society has taken a day that is meant to make us reflect on how blessed we are, and has turned it into a national celebration of the killing of defenseless animals. Most news media and cooking shows seem bent on persuading us that we can only be our happiest if we indulge on the body parts of a dead turkey.

I join with your teacher to encourage you to question old traditions that are cruel and may cause you to lose sight of their intent. After all, you have to live in this world, but you don't have to take what the world has to give. And if you ever have the option to participate in the killing of any animal, please don't turn away. Instead, please stand up for the protection of the defenseless.

I want to encourage you to continue to be good stewards of the earth and ALL of its inhabitants, which include defenseless turkeys.

On behalf of the turkeys and myself, I applaud you; you're my kind of people , and I'm proud of you.

To Laughs at no church powers: What? Could you please repeat that.

Laughs at no church powers

11/26/09 - 17:04

The War on Soy: Why the 'Miracle Food' May Be a Health Risk and Environmental Nightmare
www.alternet.org

Enjoy your Turkey Folks, after all The history of the separatist, English Pilgrims is reviewed. Their flight to the religiously tolerant town of Leyden in the Dutch Reformed Netherlands is a testimony to their obedience to the Word of God. The wonderful deliverance of Leyden in 1574 is recounted, remembering Prince William “the Silent” of Orange I, later assassinated by the Jesuits. The arrival of the Pilgrims at Cape Cod bearing the Geneva Bible, Squanto—the civilized, English-speaking native whom God used to save the little band, William Bradford’s The Mayflower Compact, the failure of communism, the first Thanksgiving in 1621 and the Pilgrims’ 50-year peace with the natives is remembered. This glorious history is unique in the annals of world history and is a tribute to White Anglo-Saxon Protestant, Reformation Bible-based Western Civilization. Anti reformationists and their lies be damned.

Reply to Laughs at no church powers

11/27/09 - 01:02

Those salem witch hunts were real cool too - and the lynchings perptrated by the southern churches. Along with all the factory farms. Gorge out.

Reply to Laughs at no church powers

Laughs at no church powers

11/27/09 - 06:52

All the more reason to leave Europe, and the tyrannical Jesuits behind and start a new nation in a land of promise..Unfortunately those carpet baggers followed the Pilgrims..And stole this place from the good people..

cn – Hailey

11/25/09 - 07:48

I love turkey's also!!

I love they way they smell(cooking)!
I love the way they make gravy!
I love the way they have lots of meat!
I love how they taste with stuffing!
I love how they make great sandwiches!
I love how everybody at my house loves them also!

I don't try to stop you from eating tofu,why must you stop me from eating turkey?

Thanks for reminding me to buy a turkey today! I will buy another one in your honor and save it for national tofu day!

Reply to cn

backpacker

11/26/09 - 14:40

I hope you have a gobble gobble good Thanksgiving too!