The St. Luke's Center for Community Health annual fall conference, "Creating a Healthy Community," offered parents an earful of advice on how to raise their children in today's challenging times. The event Saturday, Oct. 27, at the Community Campus in Hailey, featured keynote speaker Steven Maybell.
Maybell, author of "Raising Respectful Kids in a Rude World" and "Calming the Family Storm" and director of the Student Counseling Center at Seattle Pacific University, spoke on "Helping Kids Succeed in School and Life." The hundred or more mostly women in attendance were mainly parents, grandparents, great-grandmothers, step parents, foster parents, social workers and counselors. They came to hear Maybell discuss how strong children develop within strong families and in turn create strong communities.
The father of two sons, Maybell was very open about his family and marriage, presenting examples of behavior that over time he learned were not acceptable.
"The message is never to give up," Maybell said. "They need us over a lifetime."
Maybell said that we live in much different times and have grown up in a different world, which he described as the "democratic revolution."
"There are many significant changes that have befallen our culture, which make relationships difficult," he said.
Some of these changes include the organization of unions, affirmative action, the civil rights movement, and the perception that tradition being passed down through generations no longer applies. He said that children do not have role models that existed in previous generations.
"What happens when you punish kids today? Child protective services come." Maybell said. "In a democratic world where kids picture self as equal, we lose control."
Maybell said it's vitally important for parents to be firm as leaders and need to develop a leadership style with children and each other that shows mutual respect for one another, which is kind and encouraging without overindulgence.
Maybell referred to several handouts to explain the democratic revolution and its effect throughout our social institutions on being parents and raising children. He gave examples from Dr. Daniel Siegel's book "Parenting for the Inside Out." Maybell studied with Siegel and referred to his writings and teachings frequently.
Maybell also touched upon several parenting styles, such as coercive, pampering and respectful leadership, and on the effects of each. He asked audience members to participate and share memories and stories about their personal parent/children relationships, which proved several of Maybell's observations on the past generation of role models and the tough, uncharted territory parents face today.
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Emmett
– Brewster, Ohio
